Meme: Day 10 – Your physical constitution/10. Patrons - The Morrigan, Bríd

[witchscauldron]

State of the Human Suit

Trying to work this from the top down, so to speak.

I get headaches of almost any kind, to the point where I can live and function with most things up to and including migraines, provided they aren't severe. In the last year I've been getting migraines so bad that they leave me literally screaming. Not much helps those except being unconscious as long as I can manage.

I occasionally suffer from insomnia. This does not help the headaches.

I have very bad eyesight, and have worn glasses since I was 6.. I'm also headed towards a pair of bifocals in the near future, I think.

I have quite a few allergies, mostly to plants. Some of them are weird, like my allergy to the cold.

I have a form of eczema called dyshidrosis. I have to take care not to expose my skin to hot water, or anything but the mildest of soaps, as well as anything alcohol-based and latex rubber.

My right hand has some arthritis in it, and a bout of flexor tendonitis has made it stiff. It's always a little swollen now.

I have a cantankerous digestive system. I get acid reflux quite badly with some foods. I never know what I can eat and what I can't, although I do have a list of things I avoid on principle these days.

I have diabetes. I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It's a good bet one of them caused the other one, although it's hard to say which. Diabetes I manage with alright. The PCOS is much more painful, although less detrimental long term, really.

My immune system is compromised. I get sick really easily. When I get tired or rundown, it's worse.

I've broken my tailbone twice, and it's permanently broken. It's made my spine a little wonky, so I get lower back pain. It probably doesn't help with arthritis.

The aforementioned arthritis is the worst in my leg joints - hips, knees, ankles. Pain in one can trigger the whole leg to start aching. I also get it pretty badly in my shinbones when it's really damp and cold outside.

My ankles are kinda shot. My father gave me his weak ankle structure, and I've turned both so many times I've lost count. There's tendon and ligament damage in both of my feet, and I have nerve damage in the last three toes on my left foot.

I'm not entirely sure why someone hasn't shot me yet.




My Patrons

I have two patrons, both goddesses. I have close relationships with several gods, but none that I'd consider to be patronage.

The Morrigan is...complicated. I didn't know anything about Her when She appeared in my life, and I spent at least a year vacillating between dread, pride, and confusion. Once I figured out who She was...let's just say there wasn't much relief in the discovery. Over time, though, I have developed awe for Her that is not based in fear, and She is beautiful, if terrible.

I've always been a fighter. Because of Her I don't fear darkness, or death. Pain is an offering. Sometimes sacrifice is the only option. I have walked into my own terrible places - and walked out the other side. I am seldom unscathed, but I always survive.

So much of my experiences and relationship with Her are ineffable, it's really hard to describe what's between us. She's not interested in what I want, or need. She's not concerned about my comfort or well-being. She is what She is, and She does what She wants. Sometimes I'm the best tool in Her toolbox for what She's doing or needs. I'm simply glad She values me, for whatever Her reasons might be.

I keep waiting for the day when I'm too broken, or too sick to be useful to Her anymore. I am surprised it hasn't already come.

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Bríd claimed me during an invocation ritual in 2006. I had an established relationship with Her, at that point, but was nonetheless overwhelmed when She called me "Daughter".

Bríd's shrine is the calmest, warmest place in my home. Even when I'm in the blackest mood, a few moments with Her can lift me up a little. She burns brightly, even when there's no flame, or light. She heals, She creates, She nurtures - seldom is Her work for herself, but that doesn't seem to matter. I like to think that my relationship with Her is a reflection of the better part of my nature.

I wish I had more to say about this, but again - so ineffable. When I serve Bríd, it barely feels like work.

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Bríd is flame, Morrigan is shadow; they're interconnected in my life. To me, they are sisters with a working relationship. Bríd who works at the forge, making weapons of great beauty and strength - The Morrigan, who takes those weapons and turns them to their purpose. Neither deems the other wrong, for doing as they do. Interconnected - acts of creation, acts of destruction, shadow cast by flame.

Comments

[coyoteold1.livejournal.com]

You've never struck me as someone who will break. You might hurt, and someday will die, but I would take all sorts of bets that you yourself don't break. You change, and endure, and you grow wiser.

As for migraines, if I ever get ahold of whoever invented those, I swear I'll drown them in the cesspool of a pig-farm. Twice.