![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
witchscauldronDecided to amuse myself by attending a Spiritualist Church service tonight.
It was a pink fluffy unicorn church! No, really.
I didn't find the singing so bad. I didn't mind the references to Mother/Father/God/Spirit so much - I can do without the idea of Masters or Christ. I could definetely live without the hippy-Jesus stuff. I refuse to just drop all my problems into the laps of the "Angels" and let them take over for me. And someone forgot to tell me that when you translate the Lord's Prayer from 'the original Aramaic', it becomes psychobabble.
The "lecture" was on how to be a conduit of God's peace through the communion of spirits and the ministry of angels. I'm sure I would enjoy being a conduit of my matron's peace to the world, but the world wouldn't appreciate that. It was fairly standard New-Ager "me me me" type stuff.
Mediums, I've discovered, make me laugh. Which sucked, since I wasn't in a place I could do more than be silent and distract myself. One of them overworked her messages, desperate to be right; I deliberately didn't speak with anyone before hand, or give out my name, so it would be a cold reading, but she was on about 60% with me, which isn't bad. One of them looked like she evolved from a pink Yorkie dog; she obviously works as a psychic reader, and comes off very plastic and very generic. The third medium was nice enough, but I noticed when she closed her eyes her eyes never moved again. Usually when people are "seeing beyond" with their eyes closed, they move them, like in R.E.M sleep. Oh well - what do I know?
I especially appreciated them counting people towards the end; some people had messages given to them, and others at the end just got whatever Pinkie pulled out when they realized they'd missed a few. Of course, people they knew personally or are friends with got very detailed, "accurate" readings. The rest got some leading questions, and vagueness. Too funny. .
Best was the hymnbook. I can't imagine John Lennon ever intended "Imagine" to be a hymn. I might go back to sing "I'll Fly Away", but only because I like "O Brother Where Art Thou?". Hymns suck without accompaniment, especially when half the people don't know the tune. I kept wanting to sing Eddie Izzard style; "Hal-leh-loooo-yah".
"Our mediums are reading at the county fair to raise money for our church building fund". ROFL.
At the end you get to stand in a circle and sing "Let there be Peace on Earth". And you're forced to swing your arms up and down. O_o I like our circles better.
In the end, it all comes down to when I closed my eyes. I was trying to stay grounded, and these people are all raising energy and flinging it around wildly, and all I could see behind closed eyelids was big swirly magenta clouds.
I don't know I'll ever be going back, except maybe for one reason: Ray. Ray has to be in his 90's, and is the sweetest old man I've ever met. And Ray does have the healin' touch - my back is feeling better.
It was a pink fluffy unicorn church! No, really.
I didn't find the singing so bad. I didn't mind the references to Mother/Father/God/Spirit so much - I can do without the idea of Masters or Christ. I could definetely live without the hippy-Jesus stuff. I refuse to just drop all my problems into the laps of the "Angels" and let them take over for me. And someone forgot to tell me that when you translate the Lord's Prayer from 'the original Aramaic', it becomes psychobabble.
The "lecture" was on how to be a conduit of God's peace through the communion of spirits and the ministry of angels. I'm sure I would enjoy being a conduit of my matron's peace to the world, but the world wouldn't appreciate that. It was fairly standard New-Ager "me me me" type stuff.
Mediums, I've discovered, make me laugh. Which sucked, since I wasn't in a place I could do more than be silent and distract myself. One of them overworked her messages, desperate to be right; I deliberately didn't speak with anyone before hand, or give out my name, so it would be a cold reading, but she was on about 60% with me, which isn't bad. One of them looked like she evolved from a pink Yorkie dog; she obviously works as a psychic reader, and comes off very plastic and very generic. The third medium was nice enough, but I noticed when she closed her eyes her eyes never moved again. Usually when people are "seeing beyond" with their eyes closed, they move them, like in R.E.M sleep. Oh well - what do I know?
I especially appreciated them counting people towards the end; some people had messages given to them, and others at the end just got whatever Pinkie pulled out when they realized they'd missed a few. Of course, people they knew personally or are friends with got very detailed, "accurate" readings. The rest got some leading questions, and vagueness. Too funny. .
Best was the hymnbook. I can't imagine John Lennon ever intended "Imagine" to be a hymn. I might go back to sing "I'll Fly Away", but only because I like "O Brother Where Art Thou?". Hymns suck without accompaniment, especially when half the people don't know the tune. I kept wanting to sing Eddie Izzard style; "Hal-leh-loooo-yah".
"Our mediums are reading at the county fair to raise money for our church building fund". ROFL.
At the end you get to stand in a circle and sing "Let there be Peace on Earth". And you're forced to swing your arms up and down. O_o I like our circles better.
In the end, it all comes down to when I closed my eyes. I was trying to stay grounded, and these people are all raising energy and flinging it around wildly, and all I could see behind closed eyelids was big swirly magenta clouds.
I don't know I'll ever be going back, except maybe for one reason: Ray. Ray has to be in his 90's, and is the sweetest old man I've ever met. And Ray does have the healin' touch - my back is feeling better.
