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[witchscauldron]

Wooo. Migraines to the left of me, Cthuhlu to the right...stuck in the middle with you. Argh.

Anyway. Migrain-y again this morning. I wanted to sleep more, but I couldn't sleep until 2:30, I was up a few times in the night, and then the cat kicked me out of bed at 11. I think my old friend insomnia is moving back in with me for a while. Dammit.

All of this is making doing some of my exercises difficult. I am supposed to be 'feeling the balance' in my body for several minutes upon waking each morning. Instead, I'm 'feeling exhausted and nauseated' for several minutes, and I'm so groggy I can't form coherent thought for at least an hour. It's been this way for a couple of weeks - I'm finding this one hard.

I'm also supposed to be deepening a relationship with one element. This is not going so well, either. I chose Earth - It really is something I feel I am lacking, for whatever reason, and I want to work on that. It isn't coming easily, though. For one, I am lacking a decent space to meditate in, inside and out. My bedroom is not a space for doing ritual work anymore, unlike in previous instances where I haven't had room to have my altars and shrines elsewhere. The living room might work, but I am reluctant to try, for some reason. I don't know why - it might be the presence of the tv and stereo system.

I don't really want to work with Earth indoors, for some reason. I used to be able to go outside - but here, I have no yard, there's always traffic, and the local park is a) full of kids and baseball games, and b) exposed to street traffic and housing on 3 sides, with no real cover. I *really* miss Jackson Park in Peterborough, or my old quiet haunt on the bank of the river. Hell, even my scruffy "yard" in Peterborough gave me space to work with.

I've been trying to give it a go when I'm standing outside; I try to tune in to the earth, but I get distracted quite easily by the wind. I've discovered that, recently - when I work outside I used to think I was earth-focused, but I'm really not - I get tangled up in the wind, the clouds, the sunlight coming through, or whatever water might be near the area. I start with the trees and the greenery, but I always end up in the sky.

I've been spending time with my stones in the house. That's as much Earth-work as I've gotten done. So this weekend I am going to try to actually meditate, with my favorite pet rock, somewhere outside without getting distracted by other things. Wish me luck.

-M.

Comments

[shockwave77598.livejournal.com]

I'm more of a fire type, myself.

[morgandria.livejournal.com]

I know for myself I am water and air, with air edging water out only slightly. Fire I have in good dose as well. I am attracted to earthy things, but it is because I lack it, not because I have a natural affinity for it. So I'm working on the Earth thing. :)