>_

"I'll get you Hey Steve! if it's the last thing I doooo!"

Dammit. 10 minutes in Steve's car and I'm re-addicted to KMFDM. Damn damn damn. I have the strong urge to find/acquire/wear more black clothing and beat the shit out of things again. I haven't felt like this in years. I want to DANCE. O_o Well...dance more in the sense of the smashing grinding mosh-pit dance macabre sort of dance, but I still want to.

I must have had a metric fuckton of stamina to stand wearing black all summer. I also was very insane most of the time, I think. Somewhere along the line I sold my ebony-goth soul for comfortable clothing and not getting up an hour early every day to put on eyeliner.

I still have to dye my hair, too. I want...like...black-red. Like some form of dark dark dark garnet colour that flares red in the right light, but looks black otherwise. I'm probably asking way too much. :\

Mebbe when fall comes around I'll return to my "roots". *snerk* Or course, mebbe when fall comes around I'll grow a tail, too.
-M.

Whereupon the Universe pisses on my parade.

Ignorance is bliss. I should just learn that and never let curiosity get the better of me. I should never look closer at anything.

Fuck. Mealla is pregnant. Why? Because I'm a dumbass who can't afford to get her second male cat fixed, or either of her girls fixed, and now the shit has hit the fan.

Of course, the Universe couldn't have waited another few fucking weeks to where we COULD afford to finally get the boy-brat's nuts lopped off. Oh no. GODDAMMIT. I am so frustrated right now it's not funny. One step ahead, three back is what it feels like all the damn time. Why bother?

I cannot afford to have another litter of kittens here. We can't keep ANY of them, we won't be able to pawn them off on friends, and we certainly can't afford to feed them. Last year was bad enough, and there were only 4 kids.

This sucks. It's my fault. I know that. I was irresponsible and an asshat to think this wouldn't happen. Now I have to get rid of these fucking cats - I don't have any other choices. Straw, meet camel's back. >_<

-M.