Pain.

I developed some pain and stiffness in my legs before going to bed tonight...did some cookie wuffing...ugh. I don't know what's wrong, but the pain in my hips is so bad I can't lie down and I can't roll on my side and I can't sleep. Hense why I am up at this obnoxious hour. >_<

I'm hoping this is just some random virus, mebbe, the flu...or perhaps a reaction from my arthritis to the rapid weather change. In any case, it's highly unwelcome. I'm taking some Ibuprofen, despite my usual inability to stomach it well, to see if it'll help me get back to bed.

I can't even put my foot on my knee to sit comfortably at this desk. Argh.

Alright. Going to try to put things right here. See you later in the day...MUCH, MUCH later.
-M.

Duality.

Feeling awful still. Not as stiff, got a little more sleep when I went back to bed at 7 AM...but it's still pretty craptastic.

I'm sitting in a Yahoo chat room apparently about "Totems" where sone member is babbling on like a cartoon character about how he retrieved the stolen half of his soul and is now teaching people about their gifts. >_< This, combined with the woman who just went into PMs with someone to give her an "online meditation to reveal her true spirit guides", makes me cringe and wander off quite a ways. What ever happened to the personal journey?

Instant spirituality - like instant coffee, but tastes worse. >_<

I feel my duality today. Light and dark, day and night, storm and sun. Half of me is swirling void, star-pierced glistening web and womb, twilight in black. The other is moonlight in winter, illuminated ice, crystal snow on the wind, blinding white. When one is soft, the other is hard. When one is playful, the other reposeful. When one is setting, the other rises. When they combine, I am All.

I have been thinking about windigo again, or wendigo....demon-spirits, shapeshifters...creatures with hearts of ice that seek to fill that void with the warmth of another living being's lifeforce.
They aren't specifically wolves...but sometimes I think of them that way. I wonder if my own affinity for ice is related.

marf. Jason's home soon. Heading out to grab some food for tonight - I ain't cooking, and am relatively indifferent to eating, but I should at least attempt to walk the grocery store and see if anything there sounds the least bit appealing. Tonight's AD&D night...I should get some sketching done, at least. TTYL.
-M.

Sketch.

Finished a sketch, finally, based on a statue of Sekhmet I have somewhere on the ol' HD...it's only taken me a frickin' year. >_<
I'm rather pleased with it - it's probably the first piece of art I'd even remotely consider anthromorphic, and it looks nice. The scan's a little grainy and streaky, but that's because the scanner's old enough to be in Kindergarden now.

( Sekhmet goodness. )

Wooha. Sketchy sketchy. Still too much floating around my head, and still too much of a duality balancing act inside to really do much about it.

-M.