A'ight Blah!

Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust

Not really what I was expecting, but for someone who is actually a Mage anyway, it's appropriate.

A'ight Blah! Pretty well sums up my mood the last couple of days. I alternate between bitchtacular, and tired and moody. Isn't really all that much fun. I've been trying to keep myself away from people to try not to do that...it works, kinda - it's not that helpful when you live with someone.

I had this dream last night...most of it was just working out some anxiety I've had over the week, but wow...when it decides to get medieval on my ass, I gotta pay attention. I haven't had the water/library dream lately; I think I have it figured out to the fact that the Goddess thinks it is time to go to the next level of learning; initiation into a tradition. I'm comfortable with that idea, oddly. I feel as if I've plateaued as a solitary. It will be a sacrifice of time and money, but what good thing doesn't require sacrifice?

Part of this dream involved my mebbe-teacher, Moira, taking me to this horse fair. Horses being ridden, driven, rides, games - riots of music and colour and HORSES. Horses in dreams represent a need to move to another level, or to make a change to a higher level of consciousness. Moira introduced me to a gentleman, who walked with me a-ways. He was very fair; golden eyes, golden hair, pale golden skin. Kinda....glowy-hazy to look at. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she passed me off to Lugh. The road we walked was lined with tall hedges, and deep ditches, and eventually we ended up at a tree-lined path that descended into a stone staircase. It was simply gorgeous, overlooking a valley of autumn hills, glowing lights in the fields, the sun setting brilliantly. Somehow I knew this place wasn't Canada...

I had said to him "I don't know - I want to ride SO badly. Those horses are beautiful. I can choose to ride a horse again, and possibly injure myself forever, or I can never ride again, and always wonder what could have been." The man was thoughtful, smiling at me, as we walked, and then as we arrived at this path/stairway. And he turned and said to me "Sometimes Honour demands that we make a sacrifice, no matter what our fears may be of that offering. Fear is an offering, too. If this place is the place you grew up, the place your heart calls for, then walk the path. If you never get on the horse again, you'll never make the sacrifice, and then you'll never know - can you live with that?"

I turned, looked down the path, descending, tangled with branches and leaves and shadows. I looked back, and the light was faded into purple-blue twilight, the man was gone, and suddenly it was winter.

I see a clear message here, but I want to talk to Moira about it first. Bah...if anything in my life were simple, I'd always be bored.

What a long, strange day it's been...

...and it's not even over. O_o

It's as if every strange, mystical current running through my life has decided to coalesce at once today. The dream I had is more than enough to keep my mind chewing its' cud for a day. Now, I have other portents and happenings...

Zathras escapes to the outside world, further increasing my mood's pitch to ugly. I should have been more careful with the doors. I leave the window in the screen door open on the closed porch, in case he decides to come in on his own. It's never happened before, but HEY!, you never know.

A few hours later, I go out to look for Zathras. In the process, a bright orange dragonfly lands on me. I think to myself "Wow, guess I'd better pay attention to the magick around me today."

I turn around, look at the ground, and there is a crow feather sitting there. I pick the feather up, shaking my head at the coincidental nature of it all.

I come back in the house, resigned that Zathras is long gone and will not be back until either Jason finds him, or dinner time. 5 minutes after coming inside Zathras is meowing at the inside porch door to the kitchen, having walked into the house himself through the screen window.

WTF?? Things are ganging up on me just to make me boggle at coincidence and brain hurty ow.... O_o Now I have another crow feather, a dirty cat, and a headache. Why couldn't the Source spread some of this out over the Flow, as opposed to dropping it on me all at once? Ah well. I wonder what the rest of the day holds.