A'ight Blah!

[witchscauldron]

Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust

Not really what I was expecting, but for someone who is actually a Mage anyway, it's appropriate.

A'ight Blah! Pretty well sums up my mood the last couple of days. I alternate between bitchtacular, and tired and moody. Isn't really all that much fun. I've been trying to keep myself away from people to try not to do that...it works, kinda - it's not that helpful when you live with someone.

I had this dream last night...most of it was just working out some anxiety I've had over the week, but wow...when it decides to get medieval on my ass, I gotta pay attention. I haven't had the water/library dream lately; I think I have it figured out to the fact that the Goddess thinks it is time to go to the next level of learning; initiation into a tradition. I'm comfortable with that idea, oddly. I feel as if I've plateaued as a solitary. It will be a sacrifice of time and money, but what good thing doesn't require sacrifice?

Part of this dream involved my mebbe-teacher, Moira, taking me to this horse fair. Horses being ridden, driven, rides, games - riots of music and colour and HORSES. Horses in dreams represent a need to move to another level, or to make a change to a higher level of consciousness. Moira introduced me to a gentleman, who walked with me a-ways. He was very fair; golden eyes, golden hair, pale golden skin. Kinda....glowy-hazy to look at. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she passed me off to Lugh. The road we walked was lined with tall hedges, and deep ditches, and eventually we ended up at a tree-lined path that descended into a stone staircase. It was simply gorgeous, overlooking a valley of autumn hills, glowing lights in the fields, the sun setting brilliantly. Somehow I knew this place wasn't Canada...

I had said to him "I don't know - I want to ride SO badly. Those horses are beautiful. I can choose to ride a horse again, and possibly injure myself forever, or I can never ride again, and always wonder what could have been." The man was thoughtful, smiling at me, as we walked, and then as we arrived at this path/stairway. And he turned and said to me "Sometimes Honour demands that we make a sacrifice, no matter what our fears may be of that offering. Fear is an offering, too. If this place is the place you grew up, the place your heart calls for, then walk the path. If you never get on the horse again, you'll never make the sacrifice, and then you'll never know - can you live with that?"

I turned, looked down the path, descending, tangled with branches and leaves and shadows. I looked back, and the light was faded into purple-blue twilight, the man was gone, and suddenly it was winter.

I see a clear message here, but I want to talk to Moira about it first. Bah...if anything in my life were simple, I'd always be bored.