Home pt. 2.
Apr. 7th, 2003 11:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
witchscauldronI have decided that a long, boring post about what happened on my trip is not something I want to post. I have my own memories, and I want them to stay private and sacred just for me. Sorry for that - anyone who really wants to know I suppose can email me or something, and I might discuss it privately.
As for here....still Home. Home doesn't feel like home, tho. I don't want to be here. This place is a shackle of some kind. I knew that coming home would be difficult, but I didn't anticipate the level of difficulty being this high. I want to wander more. I want to be on my own, and free to do that. Heh. Just more shit to chew on while I'm doing laundry, replacing lightbulbs, bawling out cats and watching myself revert to my usual domestic drudge. I feel cursed here.
I would throw it all away in a heartbeat to feel my heart unfettered and my wings free again.
Hrmm.
Last night's dream was so incredibly complex I don't even know how to start to talk about it. The part I remember the most was being captured, made a servant of a very deformed, dark people - a ground banished to this island continent on another plane, that were once human. Time, evolution, whatever, has changed most of them into races better suited to the envionment where they lived. The slaves around me died, one by one vanishing...I suspect they eat them.
The "Primogant", head of each of these little sects, each took a favoured slave...and I became the chosen of mine. I was still learning the Game...when suddenly it became apparent we were in a temple, and they were preparing for some sort of ritual. Then the last group of the sects arrived - ones who still looked like humans. The other sects were muttering, and through it I heard they planned to change the ritual so that it focused only on this sect and wiped them out. I was confused. The temple used and focused the energy of the Elder Gods of this place, but they had long since stopped honouring the GOds, and only used them. This was about to come to an end.
I asked my master if he would permit me to assist in the magick being planned. He assented, but with the stipulation that I remain only as an energy focus. I smiled, rather coldy, and said instead "Well, I was rather considering cracking the spine of the World instead." He stared at me, and his expression changed from gruff to horrified as I Changed.
Rather unusual Change...from myself into a Goddess. Rising into the air on wings of shadow, flaring velvet darkness wrapped blood red smile. I can't even begin to describe what I looked, or how it felt, accurately. All I could see of myself was the reflection in others eyes, and each sect saw me differently. But there was no awe. The Primogants instead were filled with blind rage, at this "trick", and each blamed the other for my sudden appearance in the temple.
Waves of soldiers chased me, each one deflected like small things. The blades bit into my flesh but were repelled away, the blood flowing like sanctity, but the wounds sealing themselves. I eventually drove them outside, back from the profaned sacred place, and told them I was here to announce the return of the Elder Gods, who would no more tolerate the use of their home as a political slaying ground, as a prison for slaves. I held up my fist, warned the Primogants and their families to treat their children well, and to educated them in different ways than the Game...or they too would suffer the fate of the Lost. (*Don't know what that means*)
Opening my palm, there sat there a black sphere, and within glinted the map I had seen before, of all the lands and territories of this planescape...neatly divided by a single scaled line. And I reached out with some terrible power, and snapped the Spine in two. I had cracked the world...and the temple began to fall to pieces, and one by one the Primogants fell to their knees as the Elder Gods reclaimed their world in whole....
I think I need to stop dreaming sometimes, but they have been wonderous to be a part of lately.
-M.
As for here....still Home. Home doesn't feel like home, tho. I don't want to be here. This place is a shackle of some kind. I knew that coming home would be difficult, but I didn't anticipate the level of difficulty being this high. I want to wander more. I want to be on my own, and free to do that. Heh. Just more shit to chew on while I'm doing laundry, replacing lightbulbs, bawling out cats and watching myself revert to my usual domestic drudge. I feel cursed here.
I would throw it all away in a heartbeat to feel my heart unfettered and my wings free again.
Hrmm.
Last night's dream was so incredibly complex I don't even know how to start to talk about it. The part I remember the most was being captured, made a servant of a very deformed, dark people - a ground banished to this island continent on another plane, that were once human. Time, evolution, whatever, has changed most of them into races better suited to the envionment where they lived. The slaves around me died, one by one vanishing...I suspect they eat them.
The "Primogant", head of each of these little sects, each took a favoured slave...and I became the chosen of mine. I was still learning the Game...when suddenly it became apparent we were in a temple, and they were preparing for some sort of ritual. Then the last group of the sects arrived - ones who still looked like humans. The other sects were muttering, and through it I heard they planned to change the ritual so that it focused only on this sect and wiped them out. I was confused. The temple used and focused the energy of the Elder Gods of this place, but they had long since stopped honouring the GOds, and only used them. This was about to come to an end.
I asked my master if he would permit me to assist in the magick being planned. He assented, but with the stipulation that I remain only as an energy focus. I smiled, rather coldy, and said instead "Well, I was rather considering cracking the spine of the World instead." He stared at me, and his expression changed from gruff to horrified as I Changed.
Rather unusual Change...from myself into a Goddess. Rising into the air on wings of shadow, flaring velvet darkness wrapped blood red smile. I can't even begin to describe what I looked, or how it felt, accurately. All I could see of myself was the reflection in others eyes, and each sect saw me differently. But there was no awe. The Primogants instead were filled with blind rage, at this "trick", and each blamed the other for my sudden appearance in the temple.
Waves of soldiers chased me, each one deflected like small things. The blades bit into my flesh but were repelled away, the blood flowing like sanctity, but the wounds sealing themselves. I eventually drove them outside, back from the profaned sacred place, and told them I was here to announce the return of the Elder Gods, who would no more tolerate the use of their home as a political slaying ground, as a prison for slaves. I held up my fist, warned the Primogants and their families to treat their children well, and to educated them in different ways than the Game...or they too would suffer the fate of the Lost. (*Don't know what that means*)
Opening my palm, there sat there a black sphere, and within glinted the map I had seen before, of all the lands and territories of this planescape...neatly divided by a single scaled line. And I reached out with some terrible power, and snapped the Spine in two. I had cracked the world...and the temple began to fall to pieces, and one by one the Primogants fell to their knees as the Elder Gods reclaimed their world in whole....
I think I need to stop dreaming sometimes, but they have been wonderous to be a part of lately.
-M.
