Owl and Mother Moon.
Mar. 20th, 2003 06:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
witchscauldronOne might think with these seemingly endless introspective posts about my thoughts on animal-Self that I'm as bad as the kids. Indeed...I wonder myself. But I also believe that Awakening is not an event but a journey - it is not a single moment fixed in time, but a series of discoveries and explorations and dawning awareness.
A passage under the "Faery Godmother" struck me. Something about the crescent moon on her forehead being a chalice of sorts, a dish for seeds, a boat to carry the needful. When she needs to retreat into the darkness, she becomes an owl.
My wolf and my raven both bear the mark of the crescent moon, horns turned upwards. Wolf is lone - Wolf is not part of a pack, Wolf wanders where the Call takes us. Wolf is more of a Maiden then perhaps my two-legged self ever was. Pure spirit, the white huntress, a forest ghost. Raven? Raven is my dark spirit, the meditator across the Veil, the wings that carry me into the Void, the womb of the Dark Goddess. Raven is that which makes me older than I am, perhaps. My Crone.
So I sit at this crux - moon-marked, Maiden who is not Maiden, and yet not a Mother either. I am certainly not a Crone, either, although I bear her touch as well. Where lies the Mother in me? IN a season of fertility and growth and birth, I feel its lack.
I'm at an odd phase in my life. I'm not a Maiden anymore - but I'm not a Mother, either. Or am I? Physically, I do not wish children, nor do I think I am capable of producing them. Mentally...mentally I have long thought that I nurture my close friends and family as I might a child - I offer them aid in time of need, offer them warmth and safety when they are cold and alone. I'm touched with Jewish Mother Syndrome - I love feeding people good home-cooked meals, having the kettle on, and generally feeding their spirit along with their stomach. My kitchen is a sanctuary as much as my altar.
On soft wings comes Owl - silent, bearing a haunting grace. Owl sees, and in doing so I see...I see now, with her clarity, that Owl IS me, not just a totem, not a walk-in, not a guide. I DO Mother - I nurture, I share, I give life. I am a Mother - just not in the physical sense.
I believe I understand more of my nature now, as I sit and write and hear cold March rain. I will bear my moon-mark with love and joy - it is truly mine now, a symbol I honour with my actions. I will carry seed, I will ferry those in need across troubled waters, I will be a chalice to wisdom. I am triune, I am Goddess as Woman, I am Spirit as Animal. I am Mother, and I am Owl.
-M.
A passage under the "Faery Godmother" struck me. Something about the crescent moon on her forehead being a chalice of sorts, a dish for seeds, a boat to carry the needful. When she needs to retreat into the darkness, she becomes an owl.
My wolf and my raven both bear the mark of the crescent moon, horns turned upwards. Wolf is lone - Wolf is not part of a pack, Wolf wanders where the Call takes us. Wolf is more of a Maiden then perhaps my two-legged self ever was. Pure spirit, the white huntress, a forest ghost. Raven? Raven is my dark spirit, the meditator across the Veil, the wings that carry me into the Void, the womb of the Dark Goddess. Raven is that which makes me older than I am, perhaps. My Crone.
So I sit at this crux - moon-marked, Maiden who is not Maiden, and yet not a Mother either. I am certainly not a Crone, either, although I bear her touch as well. Where lies the Mother in me? IN a season of fertility and growth and birth, I feel its lack.
I'm at an odd phase in my life. I'm not a Maiden anymore - but I'm not a Mother, either. Or am I? Physically, I do not wish children, nor do I think I am capable of producing them. Mentally...mentally I have long thought that I nurture my close friends and family as I might a child - I offer them aid in time of need, offer them warmth and safety when they are cold and alone. I'm touched with Jewish Mother Syndrome - I love feeding people good home-cooked meals, having the kettle on, and generally feeding their spirit along with their stomach. My kitchen is a sanctuary as much as my altar.
On soft wings comes Owl - silent, bearing a haunting grace. Owl sees, and in doing so I see...I see now, with her clarity, that Owl IS me, not just a totem, not a walk-in, not a guide. I DO Mother - I nurture, I share, I give life. I am a Mother - just not in the physical sense.
I believe I understand more of my nature now, as I sit and write and hear cold March rain. I will bear my moon-mark with love and joy - it is truly mine now, a symbol I honour with my actions. I will carry seed, I will ferry those in need across troubled waters, I will be a chalice to wisdom. I am triune, I am Goddess as Woman, I am Spirit as Animal. I am Mother, and I am Owl.
-M.
