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witchscauldronI spent the weekend feeling generally miserable. My stomach is in a state where I'm nauseated when I don't eat, and then I eat, and I'm nauseated again. No making it happy. And my head....sharp stabbing pains behind my eyes, and a bass throb in the back. >_o Migraines suck ass.
I keep telling myself if it keeps up I'll go to the hospital or clinic or something. But I'm stupid, and I never do. I hate doctors. I know they're generally ok people and good at what they do, but I really don't like them.
I also woke up Sunday morning covered in scratches O_O and a few new bruises. My hip was all out of whack, too - couldn't move my right leg without a searing pain in the joint. I wonder what I was doing in my dreams...
Meh. It's all moot.
Haven't felt much better mentally, either. Jason and Jeff had a somewhat heated and IMO very pointless argument over LARP Friday night. It started in the house, followed us rather doggedly to the car, and then downtown for dinner! By the time we hit the corner of George and Charlotte I was ready to bolt - I very nearly walked home. And we got to the restaurant, and I had no appetite left, no desire to be out with these people, and a strong urge to just go somewhere and cry for a while. I hated it. I didn't leave, tho. I just ate some punishing baby spinach leaves and told myself I could go home soon.
Aren't anxiety attacks fun?
Jeff was in a pissy mood when he got to the house, and when he doesn't want to talk about work or life, he talks about LARP. I mean, that's fine - it's a hobby. It's supposed to be a way of getting away from life for a little while. I don't tend to talk about LARP much myself unless someone else brings it up, tho - I like to leave it far away from me when I'm not actively playing. Jason was playing his game of "I'm not going to get angry, 'cause I'm right", which means he sat there like a brick wall of logic, which just made Jeff more vehement in his arguments.
No-one's to blame but me for being dumb enough to stay around something I know triggers attacks. I cannot stand fighting. Raised voices, arguing - in whatever context, even friendly or theatrical, just tears something inside me and I have a need to leave it behind me, go some place safe. I just can't do it. It was my own fault for staying when I knew I should leave.
Meh. My head hurts. My stomach churns. My mind is numb. I think I'll go back to bed.
"Sleep? That's where I'm a Viking!"
I keep telling myself if it keeps up I'll go to the hospital or clinic or something. But I'm stupid, and I never do. I hate doctors. I know they're generally ok people and good at what they do, but I really don't like them.
I also woke up Sunday morning covered in scratches O_O and a few new bruises. My hip was all out of whack, too - couldn't move my right leg without a searing pain in the joint. I wonder what I was doing in my dreams...
Meh. It's all moot.
Haven't felt much better mentally, either. Jason and Jeff had a somewhat heated and IMO very pointless argument over LARP Friday night. It started in the house, followed us rather doggedly to the car, and then downtown for dinner! By the time we hit the corner of George and Charlotte I was ready to bolt - I very nearly walked home. And we got to the restaurant, and I had no appetite left, no desire to be out with these people, and a strong urge to just go somewhere and cry for a while. I hated it. I didn't leave, tho. I just ate some punishing baby spinach leaves and told myself I could go home soon.
Aren't anxiety attacks fun?
Jeff was in a pissy mood when he got to the house, and when he doesn't want to talk about work or life, he talks about LARP. I mean, that's fine - it's a hobby. It's supposed to be a way of getting away from life for a little while. I don't tend to talk about LARP much myself unless someone else brings it up, tho - I like to leave it far away from me when I'm not actively playing. Jason was playing his game of "I'm not going to get angry, 'cause I'm right", which means he sat there like a brick wall of logic, which just made Jeff more vehement in his arguments.
No-one's to blame but me for being dumb enough to stay around something I know triggers attacks. I cannot stand fighting. Raised voices, arguing - in whatever context, even friendly or theatrical, just tears something inside me and I have a need to leave it behind me, go some place safe. I just can't do it. It was my own fault for staying when I knew I should leave.
Meh. My head hurts. My stomach churns. My mind is numb. I think I'll go back to bed.
"Sleep? That's where I'm a Viking!"
