Mm.

Here in the season of sleep...I am not sleeping well. I can sleep forever, it seems, but it's not really restful or nice. I never feel comfortable. Personally, I think the problem is the matress, but there's not much I can do about that. I also should probably not get up at early morning hours, watch porn, and then go back to bed until 11. Ah well.

Painting for Mom today. I'm hoping that it turns out well, but there's never any way of knowing until you've gone past the Point of No Return. Part of me says "She'll like any old crap you make her because it's from you". The other part of me screams "PUT DOWN THE PAINTBRUSH AND NO-ONE GETS HURT.". Sigh.

Squirrel is part of my life, for the moment. Yaaay...I feel like a totem collector sometimes. I know most of them don't stay...but geez. Worse than Beanie Babies.

"Squirrel energy says that you are sensitive to your surroundings, and can tell instantly if something around you is out of order, or just doesn't smell right, or has a strange sound. Those things tell you that something is amiss in your world."

I have been soooo sensitive to everything lately; the world is becoming a painful place. I have little ability to block anything out. I'm starting to fold in on myself again because of it. Not sure when anything will change.

Anyway...I am gonna eat and keep fighting with my watercolours. Everyone be well.

-M.